Goals

This is a list of my goals for the future... in the hopes that the online public will hold me accountable... if anyone actually reads this thing.

Goals for the furture (in no particular order)

1) Get my homework done so I can graduate already. One 3 pg paper, one 7 pg paper, and one reflection and poster is all that stands between me and an entire year off of school. Alleluia.

2) Graduate

3) Look for a job... A good job. A job that doesn't make me feel like I've wasted my life as a theatre major.

4) Start saving up money to pay for my wedding (I'm engaged, by the way) Read all about it on our wedding website. Speaking of which...

5) Finish the wedding website and start planning... Dress, venue, invitations, pictures etc.

6) Read a play a week. This is going be difficult with all the other stuff going on but it is extremely necessary. This one is a musssst.

7) Work on my piece for the Fringe Festival... Oh yeah. It's a zombie play...

8) Start building my playwright's portfolio and resume.

9) Attend the SCC film program... try to get an internship somewhere.

10) Start applying for those gradschools. And stop being a wimp and ask for those letters of recomendation. Professors aren't nearly as terrifying as you think they are.

11) Get a new apartment.

12) Get a dog. A funny looking one.

13) Enjoy yourself :) You're getting to where you want to be.

Senioritus Extreme

I have been doing a terrible job of being a cool blogger... In my defense, however, I did write a blog a couple of months ago but due to my hatred (the feeling is mutual) of technology, my computer decided to delete my blog before I posted it and I thought eh... oh well. I'm so not writing that again. It was a good blog though, believe you me. Epic. I have found a new reason to blog however... avoiding my homework! That's right. I have me a mean case of senioritus and the only cure is more cowbell. Or more blogging. I will go to any lengths to avoid homework, including spewing random factoids about my life.

I've been horrified at the lack of effort I've been putting into things lately. Last night I had an assignment due at midnight and I turned it in at literally midnight. It was pretty awesome but also pretty dang ridiculous. College has beaten me down into a zombie-like state and after being an overachiever for most of my life, I think I've finally gotten it knocked out of me. At least for the time being. Instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I've developed some kind of weird affinity for TLC reality shows... I know. It's really really that bad. I guess most of my lack of effort has to do with the fact that I'm ready to just start my life already and stop worrying about my grades which aren't going to matter much at all in about two months anyway. What I especially don't want to do is work on my capstone play anymore and that is becoming a big problem. It's a chapter of my life that I'd like to put behind me and continuing to obsess over it and edit it is soooooo not how I want to be spending my time.

My play didn't end up being exactly how I'd envisioned it and the reviews were a little less than stellar. I know that's just me being hard on myself, but to make it in this business you have to be great... I hate to admit it but it's really made me reluctant to get back into writing again. I'm not feeling particularly confident anymore in my abilities and not trying again is a lot less scary then failing is right now. I know this is starting to sound like a lifetime movie, but what good are these online bloggy things if not for complaining right? I'm going to get over it eventually, but for right now I'm just not feeling it. I have a couple of promising pieces that I'm working on though, and I know with just a little more time I'll be back to my old self again.

Luckily, I have Eric who is my constant support system and tells me everything I write is the best thing he's ever read... Whether or not that's condusive to my betterment as a writer is questionable, but the sentiment is sweet and something I can always count on. Another thing I can count on is having Chelsea and Carl there to make me laugh and give me advice which is always wondeful. I love our little clan, and is it immature if I think we should all just live together forever?? If only we could clean our apartment once in a while... Oh well. Totally worth it.

As for now... should probably do my Shakespeare homework that's due tomorrow. Aggg. Shakespeare. Yet another thing I used to love that college has made me despise.

Rituals, rituals, rituals

I am currently enrolled in Lance Gharavi's capstone class, and as part of the curriculum we are reading Twyla Tharp's "The Creative Habit", a book which I highly recommend to everyone whether they are an artist or not (really we are all artists aren't we?). The book plays with the idea of "creation" and how to be creative. Is creativeness a gift that a select few are endowed with from birth ("a kiss from God") that some are blessed with and some are not or is it something that can be worked at and eventually achieved. For my sake, I greatly hope for the latter... People who know me know that I'm an extraordinarily hard worker.... obsessively so. When I'm working on a piece of writing, I tend to become a virtual recluse, barricading myself in my room and coming out only for some coffee (preferably a pumpkin spice latte :)))) It is my hope that eventually all this work will pay off and somehow I will turn into a writer with my own unique style. My goal is that when someone sees a play or movie of mine they come out thinking "Wow. You can really tell that was a "Madolyn" original"... and not in a bad way. Twyla's book advocates using a ritual to spark creativity. If you repeat this ritual regularly before you attempt to be creative it will link the two events in your memory and eventually the ritual will equal creativity (think Pavlov's dogs).

So here is my ritual... I hold you all accountable for keeping this ritual going. I am going to need help, especially when I hear Say Yes to the Dress calling out to me (How many times do I really need to watch this show? Come on. They buy the dress or they don't. It's hardly interesting... and yet...) Anyways here it is...

I start by going outside and reading some good literature. Writers that I admire, to really get some inspiration. Then I come inside, listen to some music on Eric's record player, whatever strikes my fancy, and just dive in with some quick writing, writing down whatever comes into my head. After that I do the whole barricade thing until I feel "done" with whatever I am working on for the day and try my best not to get distracted (i.e. not being connected to the internet). Hoping this will stick!

Now a certified blogger.

So I originally started this blog site as a means of posting my writing that I've been doing (plays, poems and such) but then realized after a playwriting class about copywriting that this was just asking for someone to steal my stuff. Then I neglected to write anything in it for the next few months because I never feel like I have anything interesting to say about myself... but then after compulsively reading a ton of blogs about people I knew in highschool, I decided to make my own.


So here it is....

Hey. I'm Madolyn. I am a pretty weird and socially awkward person unless you really get to know me. And even then I'm still those things, but you end up getting used to it. I'm one of those people who dreads going to parties and when I do get there I end up standing in the corner giving the thumbs up to people as they walk by and then thinking to myself "Thumbs up? Really Madolyn? Who does that?" Luckily, I have my boyfriend, Eric Smith, to tell me I'm cool and occasionally give me the thumbs up back. In that way, I'm pretty lucky. I also have two of our best friends who we spend most of our time with, Chelsea and Carl, who are weirdly like us too. We make a pretty good team, and have lately been planning how to survive the Zombie appocolypse (which we believe will be upon us soon). Carl will operate the gun, I will be the brains of the operation since I am reading the Zombie Survival Handbook, Chelsea will keep lookout and Eric... well... Eric will be the entertainment.

I am pretty big on writing. It is the one thing that I feel like I'm really good at. This is going to be a big summer for me because I am in the process of writing a piece that will go up at the Prism Theatre at ASU, which is what I've wanted ever since I first got to ASU. It is a dream come true, which means that I will be putting ridiculous amounts of pressure on myself to get it right. So if you call me and I'm not answering or you see me losing my hair, this is most likely the cause. And get this.... My show is going up... on Halloween. That's right. The holiday that I am way too obsessed with... things couldn't get much better. This is going to be my last semester at ASU, and I really want to write the best thing I ever have as my parting contribution to the theatre department.Wish me luck!

More to come soon!